Changes - PS

"Let me know when you are free and I will be happy to share my thoughts on transformations and changes etc. and I promise I will not wave some mistletoe in your face in my feeble-as-usual effort to get a Christmas kiss. I will drink beer in an alluring manner, though; I've been practicing. Lol"

Attaboy!

Changes

Changes happen every second of every minute of every day. That's life, baby! But, despite this, some personal changes just don't happen or they don't happen fast enough. Now I can live with not possessing a Bill Clintonesque charisma, but the other stuff below... well, it's got to change.

Welcome to my changes. And, yes, they're timed to begin happening on Jan 1st, 2007

Change #1 - start treating my work as a business, and not as work

Change #2 - stop worrying about my love life; just do it (thank you Nike, but I still won't be wearing the shoes !)

Change #3 - stop worrying about anything, especially offending other people (hey I offend people whilst worrying about not offending them, so I might as well not worry about it!)

Change #4 - start being more direct with the opposite sex (this combines changes #2 and #3)

Change #5 - stop planning, start doing

So what's going to change in your world in 2007?

Do tell!

Little Boy talking...

Sometimes little boys try to help little girls.

Sometimes, this is not because little boys are weak and feeble and always trying to please.

Sometimes this is not because little boys are trying to control, to gain, to obtain.

Sometimes this is not for the wrong reason (nor the right).

Sometimes - quite simply - little boys try to help little girls

http://www.squidoo.com/search/results/little%20boys

A New Year Approaches!

Thank f***!

I can't wait for this year to end and for the new one, the new me, to begin...

Oh yes!

What's Jane Austin doing here?

"Why not seize the pleasure at once? How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation!"

- Jane Austen

Erm, Jane, can I get back to you on that in a little while! I've just go to...

Ego Fatigo

Interesting character that Ego Fatigo; hangs with some interesting types indeed.

Just overheard this conversation between Ego Fatigo and one Goethe no less

"Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is; treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be."

(Do you think now is not the time to interrupt 'em to see if they want one of me Terry's All Gold then? Yum, yum more for me I guess!)

Raindrops keep falling on me head!

Great song, eh (and from a great movie too)!

Actually... actually, I did get wet today but I'm not going to tell you why because getting wet puts you in that sort of mood really. I'm sure you understand. And if you don't. Tough t*ts!
Yes, tough tots to you matey boy, because I'm feelin like a wet one (and not in a good sense) and so I just don't bloomin' well care who I offend today. Oh no I don't... (It's pantomine season. Already.)

By the way, in case you didn't realise it, the above is what's known as tosh!

What! You can do better? Show me!

Am I a classic castration candidate...

i.e. sensitive, well-intentioned and weak?

(Don't answer that!)

Coming or Going?

I don't know whether I'm coming or going?

Y'see, should I live here in Blogger world, or here in Boring John Myspace world ?

(Don't have many friends in either! Lol)

Are You A Psychic Vampire?

- http://healing.about.com/cs/energyhealing/a/aa_vampires.htm

I thought so! Bugger off will ya, and leave me alone. There's only so much Lucozade Isotonic fluids a boy can drink.

No wonder I'm in bed be ten these days. ('Appen Mr Wilkes. 'Appen!.)

Clear off the lot of ya!

What I Want For Christmas!

I want to solve all of the world's problems. Am I being too ambitious? Should I, instead, sort myself out first? Or how about if I started with you and your problems... "Tell me about your childhood"

Confessions Of A Little Boy

Dear G

This might sound a bit of a big drama, but...

I think I see what my problem is, now (after our chat). It's a big one, too, I think. I fear being with a girl, any girl, where I might get rejected, again; where what I want is ignored.

For some reason that really, really scares me! :-(

Yes, it makes me scared. I just don't know what to what to do about it. Because, obviously, I will never be able to have a long relationship with a lady unless I am ready to do things without worrying about it going wrong.

I think it's all because my Mum left my Dad when I was younger. Dunno. I can't remember much about it, what happened or anything - the memories are already buried away. First thing I can remember is living in someone else's house with someone else's family in a place called Linthwhaite. Mum had only just left him, then. I was five.

So even simple stuff like 'taking things as they come', even these words frighten me. Cos what if something goes wrong!? It might do, you never know.

And, as you know, I really don't like upsetting people because... well, I guess I'm frightened they might leave me or get mad at me.

So I try and please, so they don't get cross; I try and please people, girls, and I try not to complain, try to be good, but after a while I just get so mad inside that it all boils over. And then they leave me or I leave them. Like what happened with you and me.

Sorry.

Thanks for chatting a while ago, though. I think it did help. It helped me see that sometimes I'm nothing more than a scared little boy who doesn't want it to go wrong again.

BJ x

I Don't Fancy You Anymore...

Clare Grogan!

:-(

But I guess I look older these days too

I Like Me!

(Or, if I were chocolate I'd eat myself!)

I like me. I mean I like my blog. I sometimes re-read my world and I think 'I like you mate, you're alright'.

But then I like *me* so why is it a surprise that I like reading my blog! (Hey, someone's gotta!) Others like me too; they think I'm cool, different, interesting. And in return, I like them. That seems to be the deal, anyway. Yes, I much prefer them to the people that think I'm a dull slap-head who takes life far too seriously and doesn't even wear blue jeans.

Hey, they do have a point. I don't wear blue jeans, that often. (Do you?)

Being different, however, means that maybe you don't have that David Beckham appeal. But then I can live with that. Really. I wouldn't want to swap with him for a million pounds. Erm, okay, two million. If you insist. But there would have to be a quickie divorce. (Yes, that would be the only quickie (or slowie!) there would have to be.)

The great thing about my not wanting to be David Beckham is that I'm pretty sure that he would not want to be me, Boring John. So it's a win-win attitude all round, I think. He gets to stay rich and famous and desirable to millions and I get to be me, interesting and different, and desirable to a select, discerning few.

Aint life marvellous how it arranges things so that we all get to be who we are!

Yes I can safely say I'm my biggest fan.

Aren't you, yours?

5

A character I know quite a lot about was running in the rain last night, at the end of a six mile run. Almost back at his running club, and seemingly for no reason at all, he just shouts out the number "Five!", clear as you like. He then trailed off with "six, seven, eight"

Bit strange, really.

Wonder if it had anything to do with the hulking articulated lorry that sped close by him on the road at the time.

Was he trying to tell himself something?

Or is five just a number (another summer, sound of the funky drummer)?

Bad attitude?

"You're not a black man!"

"You're not an English man!"

"You're not a real man!"

Really?

And how would you all know?

For your information, I am a mixed race English man. It is not my problem that I don't fit in with your narrow-minded stereotypes, is it!

And another thing!

I did not get my hair done at the hairdressers (far too expensive!). I did not twirl it myself (I'm far too lazy for that!). Yes, that means my dread locks did grow naturally. I'm not style-conscious enough for it to be any other way.

Actually, I am conscious of style. I just don't care for being a follower of fashion and for people who don't know the difference!

It really does make me mad when...

More "Mierda de Toro"?

Well... okay, if you insist!

(How can a lil boy like me refuse the one and only Agent Bhangra!)

Watch this space! And if you really want more, you could always subscribe --->>>

What's that! What's that you say?

"cicha woda brzegi rwie :)"

Hey, is that really something you should be saying to me of all people?

(Wouldn't you have a crinkly face if I could actually read Polish?)

PS Did you like the answer to your problem, then? I brought out the big guns to solve it! ;-)
PPS It's mierda del toro, by the way! Isn't it?

Who am I talking about?

"She had the power of inspiring love, almost anywhere. Forget about making strong men weep. Seven-stone pacifists shouldered their way through street riots to be home in case she called. Family men abandoned sick children to wait in the rain outside her flat. Semi-literate builders and bankers sent her sonnet sequences. She pauperized gigolos, she spayed studs, she hospitalzed heartbreakers. They were never the same again, they lost their heads."

Are you a headless man, then. Do you recognise the woman?

Or, worse, do you have the power to behead?

So who am I talking about?
(See p21 of Marting Amis' London Fields to find out!)

More blimmin thoughts!

Change

"Why am I so happy to accept my exterior environment, so disinterested in changing it, yet I seem almost obsessed with needing to understand and to change (or improve) my interior environment?

"Wouldn't it be so much easier if it were the opposite? Then I could just subscribe to a monthly magazine called Home Improvements or something, and head off to B&Q on the weekend like so many other people seem to do week in, week out."

Random thought of the day

Don't you just hate it when this happens! You're minding your own business when, bam!, you find yourself tuned into someone else's thoughts, someone else's fears. It wouldn't be so bad if they were sexy thoughts, or sexy fears, but no! Instead...

"... I guess I have kept the drama alive over the years, so part of me could feed off the pain

"I've dallied with internet dating, for example, so I could be distracted (and have some excitement in my life) and so I could add to my complex layers of guilt (morning after the excitement before).

"Why do you I don't want to succeed?

"Why am I holding myself back?

"Why do I still believe that life is difficult, life is hard, when it's really as easy, easy, easy as you want it to be?

"So why do I want life to be hard?

"Why am I fascinated by my so-called nemesis? I am far more negative a force in my life than any imaginary foe, any queen bitch..."

Grim stuff, eh!

It gets even worse.

He starts reciting a blimmin poem! I'd click away now, if I were you. It's a shocker...

Poem 666
========

Queen Bitch
You aint seen
nothin Sis
For I'm the King,
the QB of this dome main

Where are you
first thing?

I... wake with Him;
taunt Him morning,
noon and night.
Make up stories, I do,
'bout You
Who you with, and
why - you're - not - thinking - of - Him

Your twisted and bitter
refrain?
Disdain!
I got fifty better
in my locker,
locked away

I delve deep
into HisStory
Play out his doomed
scenes once more,
(Just in case he forgets)

You help, oh yes
But you're just part of
an extensive 41-year
cast-list.
...Just a player
But *I* star,
in the mind of
my Master

I know my Man
I haunt and
I taunt,
like no-one else
can
*I'm* the Queen Bitch

I undermine
I talk back
I demean (LIKE A DAEMON!)

I reduce
I traduce

I keep him alive!
Just so I can do it
all over again

I'm the man,
the Pain Body man

At your service...

If you please...
(IF YOU DON'T PLEASE!)

I'm the devil,
if you will
His precious
3 letters
e.g. (?) Oh!

Or try this 4-letter word:
Fear

I know You too...

I know your curse...

(Charmed... I'll
be round Yours soon!)

:-O

Eating the monkey!

Actually that should be eating the frog!

(Eating the monkey is an altogether different experience, not without its own benefits.)

Basically, eating the frog is about doing the stuff you don't like and doing it first rather than last. Doing it first means it doesn't get to cast a murky shadow over the rest of the day as you worry about doing it later. Doing it first means it's done and you can now get onto doing the nice stuff, energised even, in some cases!)

Come to think of it, maybe eating the monkey is not that different to eating the frog. Eh, ladies? ;-)

Anyway, today I'm going to start eating the frog each and every day! Yum, yum in my tum!