Have you ever...?

Have you ever run out of things to say, then posted a link to somewhere else just to meet your 'posting requirements'?

No, I haven't either!

(Bloomin' egos - who needs 'em!)

Men honest after orgasm?

I heard it said somewhere (can't find where!) that men achieve a state of emotional honesty (I'm making this expression up, sorry!) in the few minutes straight after they orgasm.

That's not to say that they don't tell lies straight after - yeah, you are the best baby (lol) - it's to say that they don't tell lies to themselves.

I can vouch for this.

Yes, Boring John is a man!

And he has had a few orgasms. (Only for research purposes, of course!)

Life is like a...

bad repeat on TV.

Hey, okay I just don't know what life is like. But I do know what love is like

"Love is like a... butterfly"

Life is like a...

(Bollox. Not that 'Groundhog Day' feeling again!)

Life is like a...

Forrest Gump does not live here, so there are no chocolates.

Instead, and this is a thought I've had recently, how to live your life is similar to how to write a novel.

Let me explain (the unexplainable).

Each day we learn something new about ourselves. We may then review what we have learned, what we have done up to that point, and start (another) rewrite, or we may just ignore this new information for another time.

Learning new stuff can confuse the author, whether she be the author of a novel or the author of a life.

Not getting it? Okay, what happens when you argue, fiercely. Why someone gives you a character assassination that's what! We are all characters on Shakespeare's stage.

Allright it's tenuous. It's muddled. It's a great example of "it's lunchtime so just write it" thinking. I know what I mean, but not clearly enough to explain it to you.

I'll get back to the choccies shall I?

Hand 'em over, Forrest, I think that's your bus coming!

Ronnie Corbett Ate My Hamster!

(Again.)

and thus begins an adventure in post-modernist clap-trap cunningly disguised as the inner workings of my friend's mind.

Meta fiction? What's that then?

And did you ever laugh at one of Ronnie Corbett's jokes?

The thrill of the chase?

Apparently we men love the thrill of the chase.

We love to chase the object of our desire more than we love to win that object.

I have never subscribed to this view. However, I have chased women in the past, only to not be bothered once I had won them over.

So am I contradicting myself? Am I completely self-unaware? Or does the woman's attitude whilst being chased change once she has been seduced. Does it change from attractive, and self-respectful to needy and overly demanding?

I know that I don't like chasing, and feel somewhat bemused that I have obviously 'chased' (or tried to get back) and then dumped on at least one occasion.

The fact that the woman changes as soon as she's in a relationship is my defence, m'lud. I am not a chaser!

[To be continued...]

Who Wants To Be A Nice Guy?

According to Joseph Matthews being nice is being selfish.

And I have to agree with him. (Actually reminds me of an earlier thought (of mine) about people who are shy: yes, shy people are selfish people, too.)

This is Joseph says, and I quote:

Here is the typical thought process of Nice Guys:

• "Don't disagree with me! It's not fair because I do so much for you!!!"
• "Please be sympathetic and comfort me when I'm upset! I'm needy and can't comfort myself."
• "Always be in a good mood. I am always trying to make you happy and if I can't, I feel ashamed and mad at you!"
• "Pay attention to me when I need it! I've earned it after all I've done for you!!!!"
• "Take care of me by doing what I'm afraid to do! I take care of you, so you need to return the favor!!!!"

Now that is someone who doesn't seem so nice now, eh!

So I say wise up Nice Guys, wise up!

Do nice guys finish last?

If I wasn't a virtual character, made up by somebody else, then I would have a typically witty (?) BJ response.

Instead, I'll let Him speak for himself: "Oh dear!"

Are you busy?

Are you busy enough?

Couldn't you squeeze just a little bit more into your day, if you really, really tried? Then you could be really, really proud of yourself. And then, like the drunken man who regularly drinks too much and proudly proclaims the next day that he got hammered/trolleyed/out of my head/legless etc., you could wittily wonder why God only made days to last for 24 hours.

Yes, it's important to be busy, busy, busy. No time for rest, or relaxation or having time for people. We simply must 'press on', and be seen to be doing so.

As for me, I will busy myself on more appropriate expressions of busy-ness.

I mean, "I don't know where the time goes, I really don't" is a bit lame, isn't it.

(Trouble is, I'm too busy right now. And I'm too busy to even make this piece read better, right now. I know what I mean, and if I had the time I really would like to explain it properly to you. But. Gotta go! Stuff to do. Etc.)

Bang, bang, bang (for Your eyes only!)

Pink, Vodka, Ice -- Does It Do What It Says On The Tin?

(Our Story continues one Sunday afternoon...)

Dear fan of bang, bang, bang,

If you were that bothered about the three b's then you would have accepted my invitation to visit implicit in a previous entry.

I'm happy not to talk or ask questions or do anything that displeases.

I can do strong, silent type. (Well I can at least do the silent type!)

I would even hide the couscous and vegetables and stock up on red meat and vodka.

I would have even been happy to let ya book a hotel room in London too, except I did that once already!

Ego Vertigo?

Is it really Ego Vertigo of me to think that you would still be interested in such a meeting? Hmm, I can think of appropriate insults to slap my face with, but arrogant really doesn't fit.

Surely those with a bang, bang, bang philosophy still need to appeal to their largest sexual organ.

Anyway, I await your succinct reply.

And, as usual, I expect the unexpected.

:-*

bJ

PS I am not trying to score points, here; I'm just trying to score (one last time!)