Part of this around the world in 30 days routine is to get you bloody readers to do your bloody job and that's bloody well read the blog a bit more.
So, a nice quick and easy way for me to achieve this is to write a blog with a kind of provocative title - e.g. Love, life and internet dating - and then just link to relevant blog posts
A bit like this, really:
Life
Love
Internet Dating
Who knows you might learn something. Or, you might decide never again to visit Boring John world. In either case, a result.
(Off you go...)
PS Tomorrow's post will be about mythical creatures (beginning with V).
PPS And maybe I'll write a proper post about love, life and internet dating a la Him the day after - who knows!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Day 4: Dear Readers
How can I expect to get more than one blog reader if I write blog posts for a specific reader (see Day 3)? I can't. So, this blog post is for you - dear other readers.
Get in touch, and let me know what you think, or what you'd like me to moan on about - I may even write you a poem, if suitably inspired.
As for our regular reader, she can get in touch too. But no more poems. Don't wanna spoil ya, do I?
Get in touch, and let me know what you think, or what you'd like me to moan on about - I may even write you a poem, if suitably inspired.
As for our regular reader, she can get in touch too. But no more poems. Don't wanna spoil ya, do I?
Friday, November 28, 2008
Day 3: Dear Reader
Dear Reader,
I know I said I was going to stop talking about the reader-writer relationship, and talk about 'real' stuff and such, but I just can't seem to help it - it's in my blood right now.
I know that, once upon a time the blog use to be about important stuff like The Simpsons (and feeling smug about them). And then, when I took over the show, the blog'd be about how easy it is to be a man and such (bloody stupid Rudyard Kipling and his impossible rhymes!), but now it's all about me and you, the dear reader.
How post-modern!
How la la la!
(Tch!)
Trouble is, right now, this blog has just the one dear reader - a blonde who has seen better days (just like the rest of us, eh!).
So let me reprise a little something that was written for our precious dear reader aka the Terence Stamp One, a while ago. I call it Mango.
(Ahem! Le me clear me throat!...)
Mango
by Boring John
Mango "Me?"
Nah, it couldn't be!
I'm just a character, see!
She must mean He
- that Mishka P -
She must mean He!
--
And good look to 'er, is all I'll say!
He still can't help Himself when it comes to antagonising and such, and now He's come over all happy and dippy too. This is NOT how to show a girl a good time! Hee hee.
I know I said I was going to stop talking about the reader-writer relationship, and talk about 'real' stuff and such, but I just can't seem to help it - it's in my blood right now.
I know that, once upon a time the blog use to be about important stuff like The Simpsons (and feeling smug about them). And then, when I took over the show, the blog'd be about how easy it is to be a man and such (bloody stupid Rudyard Kipling and his impossible rhymes!), but now it's all about me and you, the dear reader.
How post-modern!
How la la la!
(Tch!)
Trouble is, right now, this blog has just the one dear reader - a blonde who has seen better days (just like the rest of us, eh!).
So let me reprise a little something that was written for our precious dear reader aka the Terence Stamp One, a while ago. I call it Mango.
(Ahem! Le me clear me throat!...)
Mango
by Boring John
Mango "Me?"
Nah, it couldn't be!
I'm just a character, see!
She must mean He
- that Mishka P -
She must mean He!
--
And good look to 'er, is all I'll say!
He still can't help Himself when it comes to antagonising and such, and now He's come over all happy and dippy too. This is NOT how to show a girl a good time! Hee hee.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
DAY 2: Me and Mr Crick
Me and Mr Crick?
Well, I' d have preferred it if it was Me and Mrs Jones but some black dude got in their first. Tch!
So, where was I? Oh yes, me and Mister Harold Crick (him off that movie Stranger than Fiction) - well, we've both got a 'thing' going on, and neither of us like it!
Harold's thing? Well it turns out Harold Crick - a humble guy, who works the numbers at the IRS - is actually the main character in a novel, he ain't a real person at all. And every now and then he gets to hear his writer's voice in his head - narrating and stuff. How annoying would that be, huh?
But, much worse than that, Harold is being written by a writer whose forte is killing off her main character. Bummer, eh!
So, me and Mr Crick - we know how crappy it is to be written, how positively tedious it is for our destiny to be not our own. Sure, I ain't got a grisly end* lined up just yet, but then I never got to snog the sexy tattooed girl either. I feel Harold's pain, oh yes! And you would too, if you were a bleedin' character stuck inside a blog, or inside the pages of a book that no bugger is ever gonna read!
I ask ya! What did I do to deserve this, eh!
Still, it provides material for a blog post. So I'm not gonna grumble too much. Be rude, no?...
* I left ol' Harold on the bus reading through the last chapter of the book he's in - he was trying to find out how he died. I reckon he's going to read about his demise at the very moment a stupid white boy cycles in front of the bus... and over the bridge she goes!
But I don't know (yet), as I couldn't stand the excitement - I just had to turn off the DVD, as Harold started to read. Hey, I've been there - had my strings pulled, so to speak - so I know how uncomfortable the Crickster must have been feeling at the time! I left him too it. But I'll sneak a peek, maybe tomorrow, to see if he manages to avoid his 'fate'. Go Harold, go!
As for you, you will come back tomorrow won't you? Might even write a few sweet somethings bout ya! (If I can think of any, that is! Lol.)
Well, I' d have preferred it if it was Me and Mrs Jones but some black dude got in their first. Tch!
So, where was I? Oh yes, me and Mister Harold Crick (him off that movie Stranger than Fiction) - well, we've both got a 'thing' going on, and neither of us like it!
Harold's thing? Well it turns out Harold Crick - a humble guy, who works the numbers at the IRS - is actually the main character in a novel, he ain't a real person at all. And every now and then he gets to hear his writer's voice in his head - narrating and stuff. How annoying would that be, huh?
But, much worse than that, Harold is being written by a writer whose forte is killing off her main character. Bummer, eh!
So, me and Mr Crick - we know how crappy it is to be written, how positively tedious it is for our destiny to be not our own. Sure, I ain't got a grisly end* lined up just yet, but then I never got to snog the sexy tattooed girl either. I feel Harold's pain, oh yes! And you would too, if you were a bleedin' character stuck inside a blog, or inside the pages of a book that no bugger is ever gonna read!
I ask ya! What did I do to deserve this, eh!
Still, it provides material for a blog post. So I'm not gonna grumble too much. Be rude, no?...
* I left ol' Harold on the bus reading through the last chapter of the book he's in - he was trying to find out how he died. I reckon he's going to read about his demise at the very moment a stupid white boy cycles in front of the bus... and over the bridge she goes!
But I don't know (yet), as I couldn't stand the excitement - I just had to turn off the DVD, as Harold started to read. Hey, I've been there - had my strings pulled, so to speak - so I know how uncomfortable the Crickster must have been feeling at the time! I left him too it. But I'll sneak a peek, maybe tomorrow, to see if he manages to avoid his 'fate'. Go Harold, go!
As for you, you will come back tomorrow won't you? Might even write a few sweet somethings bout ya! (If I can think of any, that is! Lol.)
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Around 'The World' in 30 Days
"It's been a long time. I shouldn't a left you"...
So here I am. Back in full multi-colour (note the 'u') glory! For your full delight and delectation. For a full 30 days. And then. "And just like that - he was gone." (Maybe.)
So ya best make the most of me. Huh!
So why 30 days?
Well, I figured that I could explain 'my world' - about me, about The World According to Boring John (aka 'The Book'), and about the stuff I like to moan about (see lhs labels) - every day for thirty days.
It will kinda give me something to do, as The Book nears its completion, and might enlighten (and entertain) you in the process.
Though as no bugger reads this blog - not 'right on' enough or not topical enough or maybe too Boring, John (Who said that?) - I'll probably only be 'entertaining' meself. Well, I'm happy to pretend there are readers out there if you are, so let's get on with it, shall we...
DAY ONE
Well, Day One is running a day behind. Tch, typical! Yep, I shoulda written this introductory post yesterday but didn't. And when I say I shoulda written it, I mean HE shoulda written it.
He? Okay, today I'm going to explain to you how this blog works.
I'm Boring John, and (obviously) the main character on this blog and in The Book. But, I'm not the writer - He is. And I can only express myself if He pulls his finger out. And who is He? He is He: Him - it's all explained here (I think!)
Don't worry, I'll rant and rave about how daft life is without referencing Him too often, I promise.
But that's enough for now.
I gotta be able to pad this out, for another 29 days, y'know.
There will be more... (Tomorrow.)
So here I am. Back in full multi-colour (note the 'u') glory! For your full delight and delectation. For a full 30 days. And then. "And just like that - he was gone." (Maybe.)
So ya best make the most of me. Huh!
So why 30 days?
Well, I figured that I could explain 'my world' - about me, about The World According to Boring John (aka 'The Book'), and about the stuff I like to moan about (see lhs labels) - every day for thirty days.
It will kinda give me something to do, as The Book nears its completion, and might enlighten (and entertain) you in the process.
Though as no bugger reads this blog - not 'right on' enough or not topical enough or maybe too Boring, John (Who said that?) - I'll probably only be 'entertaining' meself. Well, I'm happy to pretend there are readers out there if you are, so let's get on with it, shall we...
DAY ONE
Well, Day One is running a day behind. Tch, typical! Yep, I shoulda written this introductory post yesterday but didn't. And when I say I shoulda written it, I mean HE shoulda written it.
He? Okay, today I'm going to explain to you how this blog works.
I'm Boring John, and (obviously) the main character on this blog and in The Book. But, I'm not the writer - He is. And I can only express myself if He pulls his finger out. And who is He? He is He: Him - it's all explained here (I think!)
Don't worry, I'll rant and rave about how daft life is without referencing Him too often, I promise.
But that's enough for now.
I gotta be able to pad this out, for another 29 days, y'know.
There will be more... (Tomorrow.)
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
"And that's how two characters should dance together in life"
And that's how two characters should dance together in life?
Yes, and it's all explained here in this (almost finished*) version of The World According to Boring John (PDF version) - you'll need a password!**
Enjoy! I know I didn't.
* This book may never get finished - He may not be up to it!
** And the password is... - contact me (or Him) for it!
Yes, and it's all explained here in this (almost finished*) version of The World According to Boring John (PDF version) - you'll need a password!**
Enjoy! I know I didn't.
* This book may never get finished - He may not be up to it!
** And the password is... - contact me (or Him) for it!
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