(1) Agent Bhangra
versus
Ego Vertigo?
(2) 'Visible, present and unable to go unnoticed' ?
(3) Ego against alter ego?
Who knows! I also do not have a clue! (Hee hee!)
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Fun, anyone?
Tada!
Presenting...
The eight irresistible principles of fun!
(D'oh! Oh why oh why oh why have I resisted fun for so long!)
Presenting...
The eight irresistible principles of fun!
(D'oh! Oh why oh why oh why have I resisted fun for so long!)
Monday, November 27, 2006
Tuning in to random thoughts!
"What an interesting (and nice woman) she is.
"So why are my thoughts straying to lascivious endeavours?"
I dunno either, dood. Can you keep yer blimmin thoughts to yerself, I'm trying to be a good guy! Ommmm!
"So why are my thoughts straying to lascivious endeavours?"
I dunno either, dood. Can you keep yer blimmin thoughts to yerself, I'm trying to be a good guy! Ommmm!
Happy Birthday To Me!
I am one year old today!
Well the blog is.
Well, the birthday was yesterday actually.
Well, okay, Nov 21st to be precise!
Well the blog is.
Well, the birthday was yesterday actually.
Well, okay, Nov 21st to be precise!
Friday, November 24, 2006
Fictional Characters
Boring John is not real.
And if he sounds like a person you know, then you are mistaken.
As it says in the movies:
And if he sounds like a person you know, then you are mistaken.
As it says in the movies:
- "All references in [this blog] are purely fictional and any resemblance to persons or places, actual or fictional, is purely accidental"
What's Wrong With Mr Anonymous?
Mr Anonymous Says...
You know that man that looked at you nicely the other day; your favourite lover, with that glint in his eye; your loving husband; that man you really thought it would work out with, but it didn't; that great male friend of yours; HIM!
Let's call HIM Mr Anonymous.
Well he has something to say to you, Mr Anonymous, are you listening?
He tells me that he loves you, cherishes you; respects you too, finds you sexy - that way that you do that thing. I know you don't believe him, but it's true.
You inspire him.
You inspire him to be stronger, more reliable; more committed to his life, his loves, his friends.
You inspire him to earn more, to care more and show respect; to communicate.
You inspire him to listen, to learn, to laugh and to trust. And he's never had as much fun as when you and he, y'know, squealed and squealed that day.
Thanks to you he loves to flaunt his smiling eyes and show off his body - the firm bits as well as the soft bits.
You inspire him to share. You matter. To him. It's true!
You always have mattered, despite those troubled days, those lows, caused by unending argument; the ugly frowns, the sulky sighs.
He will never forget. You.
Make sure you keep on believing in him. Because he is out there, he really is.
He is not a perfect man (looking for a perfect woman) and he is not always that easy to understand, to read; but he is a real man, like you are a real woman.
A real person.
Mr Anonymous, Mr Real, he says 'hello!'. And he thanks you for remembering, if only for a moment; whichever moment you choose.
So who, again, is Mr A?
Well, he might be the first man you thought of as you read this. Or maybe he's the last person in the world you'd imagine him to be. Maybe you have yet to meet him; he may be waiting to bump into you on the street, right now.
Mr Anonymous is whoever you want him to be.
He's real.
He exists.
He says 'hello'.
You know that man that looked at you nicely the other day; your favourite lover, with that glint in his eye; your loving husband; that man you really thought it would work out with, but it didn't; that great male friend of yours; HIM!
Let's call HIM Mr Anonymous.
Well he has something to say to you, Mr Anonymous, are you listening?
He tells me that he loves you, cherishes you; respects you too, finds you sexy - that way that you do that thing. I know you don't believe him, but it's true.
You inspire him.
You inspire him to be stronger, more reliable; more committed to his life, his loves, his friends.
You inspire him to earn more, to care more and show respect; to communicate.
You inspire him to listen, to learn, to laugh and to trust. And he's never had as much fun as when you and he, y'know, squealed and squealed that day.
Thanks to you he loves to flaunt his smiling eyes and show off his body - the firm bits as well as the soft bits.
You inspire him to share. You matter. To him. It's true!
You always have mattered, despite those troubled days, those lows, caused by unending argument; the ugly frowns, the sulky sighs.
He will never forget. You.
Make sure you keep on believing in him. Because he is out there, he really is.
He is not a perfect man (looking for a perfect woman) and he is not always that easy to understand, to read; but he is a real man, like you are a real woman.
A real person.
Mr Anonymous, Mr Real, he says 'hello!'. And he thanks you for remembering, if only for a moment; whichever moment you choose.
So who, again, is Mr A?
Well, he might be the first man you thought of as you read this. Or maybe he's the last person in the world you'd imagine him to be. Maybe you have yet to meet him; he may be waiting to bump into you on the street, right now.
Mr Anonymous is whoever you want him to be.
He's real.
He exists.
He says 'hello'.
Bad Science (continued...)
Homeopathy
Dismissed as bad science by those conditioned to think classically about stuff, homeopathy is loved by those that have experienced the medical benefits.
So I like to think that homeopathy is just science you don't understand (I'm talking to the doubters now, the "show me the proof"-ers). Or, the science of placebo. (We foolishly underestimate the power and potential of our minds. And this is the clever-clogs 21st century, too!)
And I have no problem believing that homeopathy works. Even if it doesn't. Even if it's just a powerful form of auto-suggestion. After all, what matters most is that people get better -- whatever reason you wish to attribute to this success is up to you -- not that homeopathy can be proven to work in laboratory tests.
Or is methodology really that much more important than results?
(I once told a science-loving friend that I was going to write a book called Science is Not My GOD. You know, I don't think he even registered what I was trying to say.
Obviously, I am more than happy with obeying the laws of physics (though I do occasionally fly home from work if the traffic is a bit thick) but that does not mean I am an unquestioning slave to the logic, reasoning and dismissal of anything that cannot be proved that is science. Talk to a Christian about the Bible and you will find an equally rigid response to any questioning of the meanings that they take from The Good Book.
The fact that I can lump both these groups together is actually quite ironic - they tend not to have much overlap, see! Or is that moronic? So hard to tell these days. Let me do some tests...)
Dismissed as bad science by those conditioned to think classically about stuff, homeopathy is loved by those that have experienced the medical benefits.
So I like to think that homeopathy is just science you don't understand (I'm talking to the doubters now, the "show me the proof"-ers). Or, the science of placebo. (We foolishly underestimate the power and potential of our minds. And this is the clever-clogs 21st century, too!)
And I have no problem believing that homeopathy works. Even if it doesn't. Even if it's just a powerful form of auto-suggestion. After all, what matters most is that people get better -- whatever reason you wish to attribute to this success is up to you -- not that homeopathy can be proven to work in laboratory tests.
Or is methodology really that much more important than results?
(I once told a science-loving friend that I was going to write a book called Science is Not My GOD. You know, I don't think he even registered what I was trying to say.
Obviously, I am more than happy with obeying the laws of physics (though I do occasionally fly home from work if the traffic is a bit thick) but that does not mean I am an unquestioning slave to the logic, reasoning and dismissal of anything that cannot be proved that is science. Talk to a Christian about the Bible and you will find an equally rigid response to any questioning of the meanings that they take from The Good Book.
The fact that I can lump both these groups together is actually quite ironic - they tend not to have much overlap, see! Or is that moronic? So hard to tell these days. Let me do some tests...)
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Hello Empty Heads!
Are you an Empty Head?
Please read this to see if you qualify!
"If you are a member of the "if you haven't done anything wrong, what have you got to fear" brigade you probably haven't thought about the issues very hard. It's as simple as that.When you regurgitate such empty-headed nonsense you reveal not just your lack of thought but your lack of awareness of history and your lack of imagination.You are to be pitied.If, on the other hand, you HAVE thought about it then what you are in favour of is totalitarianism.You are to be feared."
Source: BBC Website forum
So, are you?
I couldn't have put it better myself, by the way!
"if you haven't done anything wrong, what have you got to fear"
If you believe in this stock response to the Government's ever-increasing desire to accumulate information about everyone, anything and everything, then I have one question:
do you know what civil liberties are?
Then why are you so happy to throw them away?
I do not trust this government (or any for that matter) to use this information properly.
I value my privacy and I wish you did.
But most of all, I wish people (like you?) would simply think before opening their empty-headed mouths!
(That's better.)
Please read this to see if you qualify!
"If you are a member of the "if you haven't done anything wrong, what have you got to fear" brigade you probably haven't thought about the issues very hard. It's as simple as that.When you regurgitate such empty-headed nonsense you reveal not just your lack of thought but your lack of awareness of history and your lack of imagination.You are to be pitied.If, on the other hand, you HAVE thought about it then what you are in favour of is totalitarianism.You are to be feared."
Source: BBC Website forum
So, are you?
I couldn't have put it better myself, by the way!
"if you haven't done anything wrong, what have you got to fear"
If you believe in this stock response to the Government's ever-increasing desire to accumulate information about everyone, anything and everything, then I have one question:
do you know what civil liberties are?
Then why are you so happy to throw them away?
I do not trust this government (or any for that matter) to use this information properly.
I value my privacy and I wish you did.
But most of all, I wish people (like you?) would simply think before opening their empty-headed mouths!
(That's better.)
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Jokes
Welcome to my jokes page
Or rather my rant about jokes page. Rant? Yes, jokes are not funny and I don't understand why people think that they are.
Example joke!
A bloke walks into a pub and sees Van Gogh standing at the bar.
"Hi Van, can I get you a drink?"
"No thanks, I got one ear."
See! Bloody not funny.
I watched that Peter Kay live once. Very funny man. Part of his very funny routine - "gar-lic bread!" - was telling a couple of jokes.
Yes, we laughed, cos his jokes were crap. If he'd have stood up there and told a load of jokes I'd have left straight away. I'd have heckled first, obviously, with the witty and un-putdownable
"Gerrof! You're rubbish"
But then I'd have left.
He didn't do that, because...
Jokes -- are -- not - funny!
Period.
You know different?
Okay, please do send me your funny jokes to prove me wrong. Here's my email address
NotOnYourNelly@JokesAreNOTFunnyHoney.com
:-)
(In American speak, that's equivalent to.... NOT!)
Jokes
are
not
funny
Not blonde jokes.
Not text message jokes
Not even jokes that are funny.
Life is funny.
A story well told is funny.
Exploding conkers is funny.
Loads of things are funny.
But not freakin jokes.
Allright!
Are we clear! Here!
Now move along. And if you want to break out into a Monty Python Funny Walk that's fine. If you want to say "Bob" with a particular emphasis on the b (a la Blackadder) that's fine. If just you just wanna say "D'oh!" then that's fine, too. But no jokes. They're not funny. Okay?
:-)
Or rather my rant about jokes page. Rant? Yes, jokes are not funny and I don't understand why people think that they are.
Example joke!
A bloke walks into a pub and sees Van Gogh standing at the bar.
"Hi Van, can I get you a drink?"
"No thanks, I got one ear."
See! Bloody not funny.
I watched that Peter Kay live once. Very funny man. Part of his very funny routine - "gar-lic bread!" - was telling a couple of jokes.
Yes, we laughed, cos his jokes were crap. If he'd have stood up there and told a load of jokes I'd have left straight away. I'd have heckled first, obviously, with the witty and un-putdownable
"Gerrof! You're rubbish"
But then I'd have left.
He didn't do that, because...
Jokes -- are -- not - funny!
Period.
You know different?
Okay, please do send me your funny jokes to prove me wrong. Here's my email address
NotOnYourNelly@JokesAreNOTFunnyHoney.com
:-)
(In American speak, that's equivalent to.... NOT!)
Jokes
are
not
funny
Not blonde jokes.
Not text message jokes
Not even jokes that are funny.
Life is funny.
A story well told is funny.
Exploding conkers is funny.
Loads of things are funny.
But not freakin jokes.
Allright!
Are we clear! Here!
Now move along. And if you want to break out into a Monty Python Funny Walk that's fine. If you want to say "Bob" with a particular emphasis on the b (a la Blackadder) that's fine. If just you just wanna say "D'oh!" then that's fine, too. But no jokes. They're not funny. Okay?
:-)
Monday, November 20, 2006
Don't you just love it when this happens
37) They laughed at me when I told them that The Simpsons were not a disfunctional family.
(If the clever bods at The Observer agree with me, then that's good enough for me.
And bloody Aled Jones did not sing Walking In The Air in the film The Snowman, but he did have a top 10 hit with it.)
(If the clever bods at The Observer agree with me, then that's good enough for me.
- 37) Those critics who got it wrong at the start by billing the Simpsons as 'America's most dysfunctional family.' It's now clear that Homer almost always ends up doing the right thing; it is, it could be argued, one of the most moral shows on television today. According to Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams: 'It's one of the most subtle pieces of propaganda around in the cause of sense, humility and virtue.'
And bloody Aled Jones did not sing Walking In The Air in the film The Snowman, but he did have a top 10 hit with it.)
Bonkers Conkers!
Please don't, laugh too much!
Someone I know very well tells me he had a bit of a shocking kitchen experience, today. He tells me... well this is what he said:
"Please don't laugh too much!
"I'm not sure what you're meant to do with conkers (horse chestnuts) but I tried to [bake] them in my oven just now and - twenty minutes later - several exploded when I brought them out of the oven.
"Chestnut mess everywhere, I can tell you!
"And a non-Superman-like somewhat shell-shocked me trying to move the remaining potential bombs to a safer place.
"Ea-sy!
"Is this normal?"
Tee hee hee!
(Apparently you're suppose to roast chestnuts, not bake them, and only once you've pricked their shell. They don't do ovens very well, it seems. Get a bit antsy, they do, often leading to somewhat explosive behaviour!)
Someone I know very well tells me he had a bit of a shocking kitchen experience, today. He tells me... well this is what he said:
"Please don't laugh too much!
"I'm not sure what you're meant to do with conkers (horse chestnuts) but I tried to [bake] them in my oven just now and - twenty minutes later - several exploded when I brought them out of the oven.
"Chestnut mess everywhere, I can tell you!
"And a non-Superman-like somewhat shell-shocked me trying to move the remaining potential bombs to a safer place.
"Ea-sy!
"Is this normal?"
Tee hee hee!
(Apparently you're suppose to roast chestnuts, not bake them, and only once you've pricked their shell. They don't do ovens very well, it seems. Get a bit antsy, they do, often leading to somewhat explosive behaviour!)
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Who Lives Here?
Who would want to live here?
Or here, where there are few, if any, people of different nationalities living?
Or here, where the trees replace the people and there's wide open spaces rather than narrow streets filled with stalls, and shops and great places to eat, sleep and laugh?
Erm, I would!
Or here, where there are few, if any, people of different nationalities living?
Or here, where the trees replace the people and there's wide open spaces rather than narrow streets filled with stalls, and shops and great places to eat, sleep and laugh?
Erm, I would!
Friday, November 17, 2006
How do you let a boy down, gently!
A boy I know, I won't say who - anonymity is the theme for today (you see!) - has very recently been trying to 'get some' with a woman he blew out a few months ago. (By the way, when he says 'blew out' he means 'got bored with waiting for her to be available' after a promising first 'hot kissing in the car park after' date and a 'limpish, hmm limpish' follow up a few days later.)
Now he may be a boy, but he's certainly a man when it comes to being affilicted by not being ruled by the head, sometimes. Naturally he only tells me this after a few beers, a bottle of whisky and we're started on the vodka. In these days of equality (?), he confesses that he has sometimes not even been ruled by his heart. (Shame on him.)
[This was meant to be a short and punchy piece about 'how you dump someone', not a load of guff about hearts and heads. Just use the word, man - he's ruled by his dick! Ed]
As I was saying, ahem!, he wasn't that into her (and he knew *he* wasn't really her type, either) but he really did want to kiss her again. So he signed up to the dating sites where they met (he'd deleted her numbers and emails ages back, right!) and cut to the chase...
Internet dating messages...
then Windows Messenger...
and then, finally, an email.
(Not too clever my friend, as if he could contact her via IM then he had her email address and he really didn't need to open up the Pandoras Box* that is Soulmates. "D'oh!" as his favourite TV character would say.)
Now it could have gone several ways, so he tells me, but it didn't! See below. But it got me thinking, in these days of almost unlimited choice when it comes to dating, how do you actually go about telling someone that isn't quite what you want that he (or she) is not quite what you want!
Obviously, silence and ignoring them works. Always has done, and always will. But that is not my style - it's shabby, it's cowardly, it's weak. It's also not the style of my friend, either - the *he* that I'm referring to.
Apparently if you just come on all strong, emotionally and everything, and tell the woman how much you love her, and need her, and can't wait to see her again and you also ask about 'Dave', her friend, and ask who he is, and wonder why she likes going for a lunchtime drink with him, and get all sulky about it when she won't stop having a lunchtime drink with him - that works too!
Takes far too long, though, eh!
Or...
you could try these lines:
"I am flattered by your interest in me! You are a lovely, charming and funny guy...great company. But....that is it. Sorry!"
"Masterful. Women. The great communicators."
That's what my friend said to me just moments ago. And you know what, today, I have to agree with him.
(*) I meant this
Now he may be a boy, but he's certainly a man when it comes to being affilicted by not being ruled by the head, sometimes. Naturally he only tells me this after a few beers, a bottle of whisky and we're started on the vodka. In these days of equality (?), he confesses that he has sometimes not even been ruled by his heart. (Shame on him.)
[This was meant to be a short and punchy piece about 'how you dump someone', not a load of guff about hearts and heads. Just use the word, man - he's ruled by his dick! Ed]
As I was saying, ahem!, he wasn't that into her (and he knew *he* wasn't really her type, either) but he really did want to kiss her again. So he signed up to the dating sites where they met (he'd deleted her numbers and emails ages back, right!) and cut to the chase...
Internet dating messages...
then Windows Messenger...
and then, finally, an email.
(Not too clever my friend, as if he could contact her via IM then he had her email address and he really didn't need to open up the Pandoras Box* that is Soulmates. "D'oh!" as his favourite TV character would say.)
Now it could have gone several ways, so he tells me, but it didn't! See below. But it got me thinking, in these days of almost unlimited choice when it comes to dating, how do you actually go about telling someone that isn't quite what you want that he (or she) is not quite what you want!
Obviously, silence and ignoring them works. Always has done, and always will. But that is not my style - it's shabby, it's cowardly, it's weak. It's also not the style of my friend, either - the *he* that I'm referring to.
Apparently if you just come on all strong, emotionally and everything, and tell the woman how much you love her, and need her, and can't wait to see her again and you also ask about 'Dave', her friend, and ask who he is, and wonder why she likes going for a lunchtime drink with him, and get all sulky about it when she won't stop having a lunchtime drink with him - that works too!
Takes far too long, though, eh!
Or...
you could try these lines:
"I am flattered by your interest in me! You are a lovely, charming and funny guy...great company. But....that is it. Sorry!"
"Masterful. Women. The great communicators."
That's what my friend said to me just moments ago. And you know what, today, I have to agree with him.
(*) I meant this
British Bloggers, Unite!
If you're reading this before Dec. 9th, 2006 then you may well not be wasting your time, particularly if you're a blogger and you live in Britian. Why so? Well, that's the date that many bloggers will be meeting in London (perhaps Covent Garden). Click here for details! Oh, I mean here
If you're reading this after Dec. 9th, 2006. I have a question for you:
Why?
(Are you expecting some kind of killer punchline! Tch, tch! You really should know better by now! ;-) )
If you're reading this after Dec. 9th, 2006. I have a question for you:
Why?
(Are you expecting some kind of killer punchline! Tch, tch! You really should know better by now! ;-) )
Monday, November 13, 2006
Your Idea Of Fun?
I asked a woman friend of mine (in search of a husband) who I should be on the lookout for whilst out in a bar, and this is her text message response:
sexy, nice cook, nice to women, & goes like a train ha ha ha ;-) internet marketers preferred!!! Gsoh and likes fluffy bunnies
Whaddya think?
Does this kinda man exist?
Or are we back to Prince Charming Theories again?
sexy, nice cook, nice to women, & goes like a train ha ha ha ;-) internet marketers preferred!!! Gsoh and likes fluffy bunnies
Whaddya think?
Does this kinda man exist?
Or are we back to Prince Charming Theories again?
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
What Do I know About... Rape
What do I know about rape?
Very little.
I'm a male and males don't tend to get raped they tend to do the raping! (Hmm, obviously I am not a rapist and I abhor rape.)
One thing I do know a little bit about is the perception of rape. I think a lot of men think that rape is much less prevalent than the 'figures suggest' and a lot of women think it is much, much more prevalent than the suggested figures. I'm in the second camp, here.
Rape is quite often the case of one person's word against another and is therefore very difficult to prove. It doesn't mean that no rape occurred, though. (Nor does it mean that no 'false claim' was made, either. Read on.)
That's why it annoys me when false claims of rape get so much prevalence in the news (see this Judge jails 'wicked liar' article in The Guardian, for an example). What we have here is evidence that women do occasionally make up false rape claims, but it's not countered by the fact (I say fact loosely, obviously, as we're in the land of perception, here!) that men rape women an awful lot more times than women make up false claims about rape.
We rarely see reports of rape convictions, but the convictions of 'false rape claims' make headline news.
This uneven reporting, to me, simply confirms the fact (to many, especially me) that most rape either doesn't really happen or it isn't really rape. (Not really rape? That's something else I know little about other than men and women seem to have very different views on what rape actually is.)
If it frustrates me, how must women whose lives are affected by it, feel?
What do I know?
Nothing. Much.
Very little.
I'm a male and males don't tend to get raped they tend to do the raping! (Hmm, obviously I am not a rapist and I abhor rape.)
One thing I do know a little bit about is the perception of rape. I think a lot of men think that rape is much less prevalent than the 'figures suggest' and a lot of women think it is much, much more prevalent than the suggested figures. I'm in the second camp, here.
Rape is quite often the case of one person's word against another and is therefore very difficult to prove. It doesn't mean that no rape occurred, though. (Nor does it mean that no 'false claim' was made, either. Read on.)
That's why it annoys me when false claims of rape get so much prevalence in the news (see this Judge jails 'wicked liar' article in The Guardian, for an example). What we have here is evidence that women do occasionally make up false rape claims, but it's not countered by the fact (I say fact loosely, obviously, as we're in the land of perception, here!) that men rape women an awful lot more times than women make up false claims about rape.
We rarely see reports of rape convictions, but the convictions of 'false rape claims' make headline news.
This uneven reporting, to me, simply confirms the fact (to many, especially me) that most rape either doesn't really happen or it isn't really rape. (Not really rape? That's something else I know little about other than men and women seem to have very different views on what rape actually is.)
If it frustrates me, how must women whose lives are affected by it, feel?
What do I know?
Nothing. Much.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
"Stay hungry! Stay foolish"
[and] don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice"
I hear ya, Steve! I hear ya!
I hear ya, Steve! I hear ya!
My World...
My world is going to get organised, very soon. I'm going to be able to label my sometimes-daily thoughts depending on what I happen to be talking about. Some suggested labels may already be coming to your mind, perhaps
Tosh
More Tosh, and
Tosh, Tosh, Lots of Tosh
I think I know what you *mean* and will perhaps come up with categories a little more meaningful to everyone else. What do you say! How about...
Love
Feelings, and
Sex
Watch this space!
Tosh
More Tosh, and
Tosh, Tosh, Lots of Tosh
I think I know what you *mean* and will perhaps come up with categories a little more meaningful to everyone else. What do you say! How about...
Love
Feelings, and
Sex
Watch this space!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Riddler?
"There are 3 woman. A blonde. A brunette. and a red head. Which do i
choose and why is that a good decision? P.S.which one will get me some."
As my good ol' friend Ego Fatigo would say...
"To see your drama clearly is to be liberated from it."
He also said: "Tch! What a plonker!"
choose and why is that a good decision? P.S.which one will get me some."
As my good ol' friend Ego Fatigo would say...
"To see your drama clearly is to be liberated from it."
He also said: "Tch! What a plonker!"
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