The World According to... Boring John

With apologies to Psychologies magazine for ripping off the format of their internew with Bill Nighy (he could play an older, wiser, version of me for sure) here are some questions and answers bout lil ol' me.

(Hey, it beats having to think for a living!)

Four Words That Describe You?
Sexy, Fun

(There's no need for another two words, is there!)

Is The Glass Half Empty Or Half Full?
Full

If You Wake Up At 4Am, What's On Your Mind?
It's not my mind that I'm thinking about, if you know what I mean!

What Was Your Plan B
Hmm, this is very dangerous territory dear lazy interviewer from Psychologies. Y'see Plan A was to land a James Bond-style gig - action/adventure and then, once I got out of bed, I'd head to the day job!

So Plan B was to 'start slowly' by appearing in what was sold to me as European Art/House (aka The World According to Boring John). But Plan B turned out to be ten times worse than the madhouse that was One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. European Arthouse? More like something Tracey Emin *didn't* include in her latest art 'masterpiece'.

So Plan B has played itself out. Now I'm at the mercies of faceless editors, publishers and agents (not the JB kind, alas). I may well vanish, never to be seen or heard from again...

(And wouldn't that be a pity, eh!)

Do You Ever Spend Longer Than Necessary In Front Of The Mirror?
I'm in complete agreement with Bill here in that I never look in mirrors either. But not because I'm phobic, but because I have that Fonzeralla-esque knowledge that there really is no need!

What Drives You, Fear Or Desire?
Great question. He drives me - both His fear and His desire. Bloody tiring, I can tell you, to be at the beck and call of such ferociously unsated beasts...

What's The Best Advice You've Been Given?
Never take no for an answer! ;-)

Religious, Spiritual, Humanist Or Nove Of The Above?
None. My name is Boring John. I'm an original (and only) member of the BoringJohnologists. I make my own rules, if I can, based on self-interest and pleasure, in the vain hope that I may get to influence Him to do likewise.

When And Where Were You Happiest?
Five minutes before I agreed to do The World According to Boring John gig; five mins. before I signed on the dotted line. If I only had my time again.

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And if that hasn't completely confused you, Dear Blog Reader (I really don't know where we get these strays and wastrels, I really don't!) then you can learn more about About Me here and more About Him here.