Break Down! [BEFORE] - Boring John, World According to

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Break Down! [BEFORE]

[The following entry is before I got hold of my original, much more succinct, text message. It's wordy and not that funny, and -- quite frankly -- I wouldn't bother reading it if I were you! Instead read the [AFTER] version. And, as you do, ask yourself is text messaging really killing the skill of writing?]


Recently, a series of travel-related events occurred to me. Now depending on whether you are a half-full or half-empty typa-guy you will think I am a) "lucky, lucky, lucky" or b) "if it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all"

Ok. Here goes. It all started when I went to renew my car's tax disc...

a) Wednesday, 14th June: I discover that my car's MOT has run out a week ago! (No the first time this has happened, alas. *The* first time, my car was 'not roadworthy' for a few months!)

b) Monday, 26th June: I leave my car with [Company Name Removed], after listening to my brother's recommendation. "It's going to cost you about £150," says the MOT Man, shaking his head and making that strange inhale of breath sound that only Mr Fixits like plumbers make.

c) Tuesday, 27th June: Leave the car to be fixed

d) Wednesday, 28th June: Collect the car the next day. The cost has gone up. £250. "There were complications."

e) 30 minutes later: Hear a worryingly loud noise in the back of the car - something's loose. (The casing that covers the 'wheel nut' that connects the wheel to the drive shaft. [Apologies if this description is technically incorrect. It is my understanding. Summat was loose, and it made a racket! End of.]

f) 5 more minutes: Casing returned, and no more noise is heard.

g) Sunday, 2nd July, 12.30PM: On my way to Saltaire on a glorioiusly hot afternoon. By car, obviously. Half-way there when I hear another noise in the front of the car. I ignore it for a few miles, but can feel it in the steering wheel, and can sense something's wrong!

h) 12:35PM: Ring my brother saying "HELP!"

j) breakdown not covered

i) 12:45PM: Decide Saltaire will have to wait and try and return home. The rattle is very loud now, and it seems like the car can no longer move!

j) [Boredom set in. This piece is not working. As is the case with most things in life, the AFTER looks much better than the BEFORE!]

3) Sunday, 2nd July
c) A few days later, I get my car tax disc using the new MOT and my proof of insurance

I actually sent a text message to a friend all about my travails. But -- yeah you guessed it! -- it too broke down (went invisible on me, got deleted).

So this text message follow-up is the only evidence I have of a strange travel day last Sunday:

"... And then it thundered and lightninged and my train back from leeds was cancelled and I shoulda been in bed catching zzzs [by now] but still just leaving [Huddersfield] on t'bus. Buenas nochas x"

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