The World According to... Boring John

A True Boyfriend Would...

-Call her EVERY night
- Leave her sweet texts to wake up to
- Sneak up behind her
- Grab her by the waist
- Tell her she has amazing eyes
- When your friends walk by say this is my girlfriend
- Say i love you to her face not JUST over the phone
- If she's sad, take her in your arms and tell her everything will be okay
- NEVER CHEAT ON HER!!!
- Kiss her on the forehead
- Tickle her even when she says stop
- Don't say i love you Unless you Mean It.
- Listen to her when she talks
- Tell her your secrets.
- Protect her.
- Show her the respect she deserves.

Girls repost as - a true boyfriend would ..

Guys repost as - I would do this for her anyday

Boring John repost as - And what would a true girlfriend do in return to get this perfect boyfriend?

Lol.

Can you really imagine how long a relationship would last if a girl actually had a so-called true boyfriend!

Imagine telling a girl - I prefer the word woman, actually - "I love you" only when you meant it. Yep! No sex, no fun and probably no relationship.

Imagine tickling a woman even when she tells you to stop - "F*CKING STOP, Aaargh". Yep. No fun, a black eye and probably no relationship.

Even worse, imagine telling a woman your true secrets - "you see, I fancy your friend too and would secretly love to do her and you in a threesome". Yep! No balls, no sex and probably no relationship.

Note: there's a reason that secrets are secrets darling. "What goes on in my head stays in my head"

Okay, granted. Never cheat on her. I agree on that one. That's just a baad thing to do, mon. Don't go there. Especially with her sister. (Believe!) Lol

Boring John's not bitter. Oh no. The fact that he was this perfect boyfriend once (as near as dammit, anyway!) and what did it get him. Yep! No sex, no fun and definitely no relationship.

The thing is, if the above boyfriend stuff worked, then men would do it.

Darwin is to be blame for this startling revelation, not Boring John. It's called evolution. It's called trying stuff out and seeing what happens. It's also called saying one thing, and meaning another.

So, whilst I'm on me bloody pedestal, bitter and twisted like, here's a Myspace Message back at ya!

WOMEN! If you want men to change, then change how you behave towards them!

Otherwise, stop moaning. Ahright!

(Obviously, the same goes to MEN too with regards to women. To these creatures ruled by their paints, stop fawning at big boobed numbskulls, complaining later that you have nothing to talk to her about and she really only likes you for your money and fast cars. Well, d'uh! Etc. You can fill in the gaps, especially if you are a woman!)

Right. I'm getting a nose bleed from standing so high up on this pedestal.

Actually, that's the worst thing about being perfect - the nosebleeds!

See ya later.