The World According to... Boring John

(With apologies to Psychologies Magazine and the What Makes You Tick? Monty Don interview featured in a recent edition of Psychologies.)

Name four words that describe you?

Silly, serious, sexy and S-obsessed

The biggest difference between men and women is?

Now *that* is a very good question. Erm, communication skills. (I have no idea, actually, what single thing differentiates the sexes. We're all different, after all.)

Are or were you closer to your father or your mother?

Mother, as my father left the nest (got booted) very early on. I am as open with my Mother as with my bestest friend (yes, this is probably unwise)

Bottle it up or let it all hang out?

Hmm, never bottle it up but be dignified enough not let it all hang out, either.

Is the glass half-empty or half-full?

I think the glass is probably fed up of having its identity continually questioned. It's a glass, with fluid in it. End of. But I agree with Monty Python that you should "Always look on the bright side of life!"

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

Be less serious. (Aint never gonna happen, baby!)

What record do you listen to when you're feeling down?

Probably a CD by Lemon Jelly

What is your biggest regret?

Not being a happily married Dad.

When and where are you happiest?

"Right here, right now" baby!

If you could nominate an eight deadly sin, what would it be?

Well, I'm not sure what the seven deadly sins are but I would nominate intolerance.

What drives you - fear or desire?

Too much fear in my life, for sure.

When did you last get really angry?

The last time someone asked me that question! Why I oughta...

Conformist or rebel?

Eeek, conformist when it comes to authority but rebel, I guess, when it comes to not being one of the sheep in the Fashion Victim Army (I'm not interested if you're the leader of sheep or just one of the ranks, actually - wear what suits *you*!)

What's the record you'd never confess to owning?

Aha, a trick question. It would be...

Best piece of advice you've ever been given - and did you follow it?

Stop being so serious. No. (D'oh!)